A Quarantine Tuesday Poem - Upon Thinking of Going to The Grocery Store

At 6

All I wanted was a pocketbook.
Grandma said I had a pocketbook,
The white patent leather, gold ball-snap
Purse with gold chain that I carried
Over my wrist
On Easter that held three kleenexes and
a red-stripe peppermint.
I wanted
a real pocketbook.
A big pocketbook to fill
With important things like 
Lipstick.
Floral-printed handkerchiefs stained with lip prints.
Assorted coins.
A small sewing kit. 
A wallet with money and a social security card
And a library card
And a license for driving a car.
I could go to the IGA with that pocketbook
And buy ice cream in little cups
With little wooden paddle spoons glued to the lids
And sour cream and onion potato chips
And foot-long hot dogs and foot-long buns.

At 13

Mom sewed me a purse out of the top
Of a pair of dad's overalls
To carry Kotex. 
To junior high. 
Such a cool purse, lined
With pink stripe fabric leftover 
From a pair of baby doll pajamas 
She had sewn for me that summer.
Wendy Calvin told my 
Social Studies class it was too bad
My mom couldn't afford buy me a real
Purse at JC Penney
So I stopped carrying it to school
And bled right through a pair of white pants
In the lunchroom.

At 35

Why is my damn purse so damn heavy?

At 57

Oldest daughter:  Mama, hand me your purse.  
I'll clean it out for you.
What's this? 
This chapstick is ancient.
Do you really need 11 pens?
You have so many coins in the bottom of your purse
It could be a door stop.
Or a lethal weapon, swung just right.  
Line up your bills according to value
Like dad does.
All the guys facing forward. 
Toss these old receipts.  
The newer ones are behind the bills.

Now keep it this way, she says. 
And then we laugh and laugh at her
Funny joke. 

At 60

Don't take a purse into the store, they say.
In and out quickly, they say. 
Carry just a card, they say.

But where do I put my keys?
My little pad for writing down interesting things?
Kotex.  Peppermints. 7 pens. 
Too many coins. 
Kleenex.
Hand wipes and Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer and plastic gloves.
And a mask. 

All I wanted was a little cup of ice cream. 
And a little wooden spoon.